Moving forward.

Friday, 27 July 2012

Me at Itsukushima Shrine's torii gate, taken by a friend.

For those of you who already know me from my other blogs, or from real life, you'll know that I just finished a year abroad studying at Ritsumeikan University in Kyoto, Japan.  Before I left, I had a giant post all written out, reflecting briefly on the year and what's to come, and it just completely slipped my mind to post it before I flew home.  Now, reading over it, it just didn't seem good enough to post anyway, hence why I'm rambling away now.

Going to Japan had been a dream of mine for a long time and it was fantastic to have that dream realised, but the year wasn't all sunshine and rainbows.  I'd expected to miss friends, to miss family, to miss my wonderful boyfriend, but I'd never really expected to miss the UK.  Homesickness hit me harder in the second semester than the first, when I had to say goodbye to friends who were only there for half a year, and when a ton of new students - strangers in our little family - moved into our dorms and disrupted the routines I'd worked so hard to build all that time.  It got too hot for me and my British blood to bare, I ran out of money and I ran out of patience for all of the little things about my university and Japan itself that had slowly been driving me insane.   I had never experienced such emotional lows before that semester in Japan, and by the time my flight home rolled around, I was thrilled to be leaving.

Of course, it wasn't all bad, and I'm still so thankful that I was given the opportunity to do what I did.  I've walked through the torii gates at the Fushimi Inari shrine, I've seen Kyoto's spectacular autumn leaves and cherry blossoms, I've been to the bamboo forests of Arashiyama and been one of the only people on the beach in front of the Itsukushima Shrine O-Torii at the crack of dawn.  I even spent all of February of this year travelling across Thailand with a group of girls who - along with a few others - I've come to consider some of my closest friends even though we're now all oceans apart.

Through all of the good times and bad times, I'm happy to be home, but I'm just as nervous about continuing my life here as I was when I was off to Japan.  Coming back home has been like leaping into a great, black abyss of a future.  I have no idea what I want to do or where or when or with who, and am currently just hoping for the best and trying to get through my last year of university without screwing things up.  I feel like I have a better chance of personally uncovering the portal to an alternate dimension than I have of actually figuring out what I'm going to do with my life, but I'm excited to try.

Having been away for so long, I'm just happy to be back on British soil and able to look at everything with fresh, appreciative new eyes.  I guess you don't know what you've got until it's gone, but I've never been so thankful to live where I live and have the life that I lead and the people that love me.  In the spirit of things, I've made this blog, in the hope of documenting my life that little bit more and getting back into the habit of writing.

I'm not exactly the most interesting person and this has been a pretty boring first post but hey, if you're at all interested in reading that, I guess I'll see you whenever I next have something to write about..?


  1. I really liked this post! I spent a year in Germany so I really relate to what you said here. It's such a tough but rewarding thing to do, it made me feel so brave and like I could do anything.
    I'd really like to follow you but can't work out how to, haha. xx

    1. Thank you! It really is a life-changing thing to do, and now over a month since coming back I'm even more confused about what to do with my life than before, haha. I can totally relate to some of your job and graduation worries on your blog, too! Congrats on the 2:1!

      I've since added the followers section again, accidentally removed it when I re-themed the blog, oops!


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